Editor's Choice



SANCTUARY

SANCTUARY
Published On: 29-Nov-2021
22828 views

Article by


The doctor’s waiting room felt stifling and poorly ventilated. She swallowed hard at the sight of a news report that had prompted a sinister blood rush to her ears. Some girl named Noor had met the fate she had been anticipating for herself, the incident had jolted her out of her passive hopes that she phrased often as “it’s all in my head”.

In a few minutes she would be the next to see the doctor for a therapy session. Where should she start and till when should she describe her experience? From the early days of her marriage perhaps? How the traumatic first year of living with husband had substituted her enamour with grubbiness of a limp vegetable. How he would take pride in criticizing her each gesture to a point where she had lost it all and became an object that would robotically take his orders and complimentary slaps. Maybe, to the day when the hitting had turned into a gruesome beating, or perhaps to her present circumstance where she lived in a constant fear of ‘how painful an end he must be planning for her?’

Dr: “How are you feeling today, Ms. Gulshan?”

She had been practicing CBT during the past sessions where the therapist had helped her overcome panic attacks through rational thinking and mindfulness.

Gul: “I think he will harm me very brutally and no one will blink an eye.”

She recalled how he would put blame and threaten people for anything, how he harmed people in the name of punishing them, called others incompetent, threw tantrums and would constantly glorify how he was such a connoisseur that others simply could not match up to his intellect and sophistication. He could never see life as a series of setbacks and wins. He only wanted to win at the expense of others, to him the only life worthy was his own.

Dr: “What makes you say so? Are you following the rational thinking pattern that we had perfected last session?”

Gul: “Yes. The same happened to Noor.”

Dr: “No, it cannot possibly happen to you because you are very enlightened upon the narcissistic tendencies, and I have discussed in detail how an empath needs to stay clear of any connection with a narcissist, so they need very firm boundaries for self-preservation. You will not go to see him or maintain any sort of interaction with that person.”

Gul: “He is a plotter, he will put me in a fix; as Noor was tricked.”

Dr: “Your ex-husband has severe narcissistic personality disorder. NPD is often associated with substance abuse as was his case. His character pathology shows a grandiose self, lack of empathy, haughty attitude, and alarmingly exploitive behavior. Your family could not comprehend these traits at the time of your betrothal. Your brother had held high regard of your then ‘to be husband’ who maintained the façade of a scholarly, foreign qualified man. Had they an inkling of your marital life turning into misery, they would have refused the proposal with no qualms. I am sorry that your personal experience of abuse with him distorted your sense of reality. You couldn’t speak for yourself. You did not inform any one of your consequences till it got discovered. Now that you have severed all ties with him and as you work on rebuilding your life, I am here to help you through this process of self-recovery.”

Gul: “I didn’t save myself, nobody told me I needed to save myself.”

 Dr: “Can I do anything to make you feel safe now? What will make you feel safe?”

For a moment her dismayed past self was hopeful. A sanctuary and a compass might save her future self.

Gul: “A death sentence for Noor’s murderer. And a rule book on who is to be trusted.”

About Us

Monthly "Azeem English Magazine", launched in 2000, records the information about diverse fields like mental health, literature, research, science, and art. The magazine's objective is to impart social, cultural, and literary values to society.

Contact Us

Azeem English Magazine

 +92 51 88 93 092

 contact@aemagazine.pk

  First Floor, RAS Arcade, Eidhi Market, Street#124, G-13/4, Islamabad, Pakistan, 44000.