Bachi = Not a Child

“yar bachi check kar” “uski bachi aei thi kal…hot thi kaafi” “Bachi ka rola hogia hai udhr” These are some exemplary sentences being spoken by young men in our society. Who are they referring to? Infants? Kids? Toddlers? No. They are referring to a girl who is romantically involved with a man. The word has been thrown around so many times in male dominated buildings, boy’s hostels, among friends and in universities that it is almost normal and not sexist to say it. Some young men might say “why? What’s wrong with this?” Here is the problem with such words that are normalized- the labelling creates a reality and places the referent in a lower social hierarchy because of the tag which is attached to it. For instance the word “Chuorra” a word used as a rough connotation for racially black, dark brown skinned members of society who are marginalized into the labor working class. It is also associated in South Asian society with Christians of lower economic strata in Pakistan and in India with the shudarr class. When people associate a word with a person based on intelligence, race, religion, sex, class, and ethnicity, they create not just a label but a collective psychological understanding of that entity within a society.

Hollywood and American pop culture represent this “bachi phenomenon” normally in their movies as “locker room talk”. It also has to do with the social observation that in western society’s structural patriarchy has watered down into a normative one in which objectification of women is casually normalized and promoted. (This does not imply that structural patriarchy is gone. It is very much present in laws and regulation of the state esp. in the USA) . It is derogatory because it is clumping a section of society based on gender and age group and rendering them as mute subjects of no significance, just for observation and use. It is further demeaning and infantilizing when the relationship of a man to such a representational woman isn’t seen in the same lens as other relationships are seen, such as friends, family, colleagues etc. Such relationship for these boys is seen as a liaison of a mature superior being who wants to just time pass in tandem with a naïve, pretty dumb girl. Read this again. For some men, the woman or relationship might be significant (the said woman can be a girlfriend turned wife) and of importance but when these men are talking about the opposite gender they usually use this labeling out of habit or pure condescension. Their collective psyche is considering the opposite sex as a subject of ridicule and someone who cannot be or should not be taken seriously. One might think that these are just pockets of intimate conversations held in close groups of men and do not have any serious impact on society at all. Wrong.

The personal is political since it has become cultural. These same men when going out with their sisters get irritated with the fact that their sister looks attractive or appealing. Since the bachi culture forms his behavior and perception, he would not want to hang out with his sister in the first place or worse, as a patriarchal pseudo religious/cultured man would ask her to stay indoors. It is not just this culture, it works closely in link to “pseudo-mullah culture” when they associate women with candies wrapped in toffee paper! Even if extreme marginalization measures are not taken- wives, mothers, sisters are either the favorite center of swear words or their discussion is just plain avoided. “oyeeee behan ka mazak nahi hai”. Sounds familiar?

A word. A single word has a strong impact. Its meaning is attached to various perceptive capacities of the brain. That’s why there are branches of semiotics, culture and psycholinguistics all derived from the discipline of philosophy. Since the issue begins with objectification of a woman- that is the first premise that needs to be deconstructed. If one is demeaning the opposite sex-That is sexism 101. A joke is fine, a frank comment is acceptable amongst friends. What is alarming is the constant usage. Also that in a society which claims that child marriage should be banned. Why ban it then? If you are calling a fully grown woman bachi? (sarcasm)