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Starting with prevention
How can I help prevent my child from getting bullied?
The first step to keeping your child safe is making sure they know the issue.
1. Educate your children about bullying. Once they know what bullying is, your children will be able to identify it more easily, whether it is happening to them or someone else.
2. Talk openly and frequently to your children. The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it. Check in with your children daily and ask about their time at school and their activities online, inquiring not only about their classes and activities, but also about their feelings.
3. Help build your child’s self-confidence. Encourage your child to join activities they love in your community. This will also help build confidence as well as a group of friends with shared interests.
4. Be a role model. Show your child how to treat other children and adults with kindness and respect by doing the same to the people around you, including speaking up when others are being mistreated. Children look to their parents as examples of how to behave, including what to post online.
5. Be part of their online experience. Familiarize yourself with the platforms your child uses, explain to your child how the online and the offline world are connected, and warn them about the different risks they’ll face online.
Signs you must look for if your child is being bullied?
Look closely. Observe children’s emotional state, as some children may not express their concerns verbally. Signs to look out for include:
1. Physical marks such as unexplained bruises, scratches, broken bones and healing wounds
2. Fear of going to school or joining school events
3. Being anxious, nervous or very vigilant
4. Having few friends in school or outside of school
5. Losing friends suddenly or avoiding social situations
6. Clothing, electronics or other personal belongings being lost or destroyed
7. Often asking for money
8. Low academic performance
9. Absenteeism, or calling from school asking to go home
10. Trying to stay near adults
11. Not sleeping well and may be having nightmares
12. Complaining of headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments
13. Regularly distressed
14. Becomes unusually secretive
15. Being aggressive or having angry outbursts
Talk openly. Talk to your children about what they think is good and bad behavior in school, in the community and online. It is important to have open communication so that your children will feel comfortable telling you about what is happening in their lives.
Responding to bullying
If you know your child is being bullied, following are the steps to take to help them:
1. Listen to your child openly and calmly. Focus on making them feel heard and supported, instead of trying to find the cause of the bullying or trying to solve the problem. Make sure they know that it is not their fault.
2. Tell the child that you believe them; that you are glad they told you; that it is not their fault; that you will do your best to find help.
3. Talk to the teacher or school. You and your child do not have to face bullying alone. Ask if your school has a bullying policy or code of conduct. This may apply for both in-person bullying and online.
Be a support system. For your child, having a supportive parent is essential to dealing with the effects of bullying. Make sure they know they can talk to you at any time and reassure them that things will get better.
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