Life and Love: An Open Letter to My Love

My beloved Zindagi, It is the first rule that "how we see our God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves." If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there’s too much fear and blame welling inside of us. Similarly, it reflects love in our hearts if we see that our God is full of love and compassion. For me, the sense of the word faith in Allah is incomplete until you have room in your heart for love, and without love, a believer‘s faith is flaccid and lifeless. We humans are not accredited to have love for something, but it is only God who fills our hearts with love. A kind, soft, and blessed human heart is the true home of this God-gifted love, and only those who are in love by heart know the true worth of it. Love is next to all the feelings and comes as a sound heard only by the heart, not the ears.

Dear Zindagi, as I am used to asking God even about the ink of my pen, I started to pray to God consciously and continuously since the day I saw you with both eyes closed and instead of a third eye in the heart—the eye that can see the inner realm and can differentiate between the outer and inner appearance. I believe we are mirror images of each other, and I considered you as my righteous companion, the greatest blessing!

My heart saw you when I was a child, and I heard your love as if it were a stone thrown from somewhere into the tranquil pond of life. A cool and strong wind blew from your side, scattering all the other feelings in my heart and making me home inside because I felt it was the essence of my life. As the great Rumi reminded us, love hits everybody, including those who shun love. For me, people who don’t follow their hearts as a primary guide to life, couldn’t step into the valley of love—the way a sunflower reflects the sun.

I followed the path immersed in my heart and it led me into the garden of your life. I didn’t come accidently or as a visitor, but as a lover, as guardian, and as a gardener, and i didn’t select solely the pretty flowers and leaves of this garden out of the thorns, herbs, and shrubs, not because I needed to take the rough with the smooth, but because I needed to accept my love in its entirety. My heart found you as an impossible combination: full of revolutionary ideas, unbridled courage, and creativity, but fragile as a crystal flower.

It’s not just that I call you Mr. Edhi (hats-off), you are a pure philanthropist and have an immense love for life around you.

I have read you as a book, especially the chapters on feelings, emotions, and knowing your world of likes and dislikes. I have read the pits and peaks of your thoughts. I love the way you think; that helped me to see the green valley of your mind and beautiful heart as a watercourse in the mountains, where the water of love flows in and out to purify your heart, just as abstinence and fasting purifies the body.

I've peered deeply into the window of your heart, and I've seen the most beautiful eyes in the universe. I wish to keep this world so beautiful for the un-vexed and smiling expression of these eyes. And, I must tell you that whenever I get angry with someone, I replace the face of that person in my mind with the face of yours to start love with him.

Dear Zindagi, your love has turned me into a soft-hearted human because your love has swapped all signs of arrogance and haughtiness from this heart and brought me closer to God. I have a gift of your calligraphy, written in Allah with a straight alif, and books about life and Rumi readings.

Do you know it has been almost three years since we met? Do you know how important your presence has become to me in completing my PhD?

Main tumhein dhoondnay yaadon ki khuli raaho par

Khushk paton ki tarah roz bikhar jata hoon

I miss your presence around. I mean physically, to walk a distance with you, to narrate how a complete stranger; Hussain, very remote to your family and relatives, shared a vision and dreams about life with you and how he aims high to make your dreams come true. You know my possessiveness, my companionship, and my wish to keep talking with you. There is a never-ending quest of walking and talking with you about aboriginal art, romantic novels, bird-watching, gardening, and most importantly, investing our time for our mutual goals. You can imagine my happiness score and pleasant feelings while writing this piece of paper- expressing my love for the way you are.

 If I know the meaning of love and love my existence, it’s because of you Zindagi!

I can’t end the narration of love and wishes for you because it is even larger than a life, but I would like to end by saying, I believe each day of my remaining life would be a better and lucky day if you let me look into your beautiful eyes to live the life as ‘Zindagi Gulzar Hai" with you, and as I said before, you are irreplaceable for me, so please may we last forever!