Is Life ‘Really’ Suffering?

There’s a short answer to this question and a long one

Let’s hear the short one first: 

Yes.

Alright bye. You can move on to Social Media now. (Light humor)

So, The real question is, What did Buddha really mean when he said

“All of life is suffering”.

Not only did he say this. He labeled it as the first noble truth. By this time, This is what most of us have going in our heads

“That’s just BS. Buddha didn’t know what he was talking about. You gotta be positive and all”.

Buddha's First Noble Truth, often misunderstood as negative and pessimistic, but was actually a compassionate description of the human condition and a path to liberation from suffering."

A side note here: Suffering doesn’t mean physical pain. Suffering can be emotional & mental too. Infact, the kind of suffering Buddha referred to falls under the category of emotional/mental/psychological. 

Buddha saw that old people were suffering, young people were suffering. Rich people, Poor people. Healthy people, Sick people.

Punchline: People. Suffering.

Desperate to find the answer. He found a Bodhi tree and sat under it for 40 days. In 40 days, He found the answer and shared it with people. What did he say the cause of suffering was? Oh yeah. Armughan Munir

“The cause of suffering is Desire” That’s the second noble truth.

Desire? (or Preference?)

Isn’t desire supposed to be positive? Isn’t desire the force that causes creation? How can desire be the cause? 

For the people who think this is gonna be an article on Buddhism. Think again. We are gonna shift gears here.

We all know the story of Adam & Eve, right?

A funny yet legitimate question most people have is, “If Adam and Eve made the mistake, Why do I have to suffer the consequences? It’s not justice”. 

The story goes something like this, Adam and Eve were the first human pair. Their place of living was the Garden of Eden aka the biblical paradise. What a life they had!

It was paradise, pure heaven. But like all good stories, there must be a fall. It’s called the Fall from the Garden. Adam and Eve's temptation leads to downfall in paradise.

The key thing to notice in this story is “The Tree of Self-knowledge”

Isn’t knowledge a good thing? If it’s a good thing then why did God forbid it?

What he forbade Adam from is ‘Self-Knowledge’.

The knowledge of the self aka EGO.

Let’s shift gears once more.

To make a very long story short, We earthlings have a moment when we are born. We also have one when we die. In between that short period, We have this thing called ‘Life’. It’s an experience (or a collection of experiences).

All of modern psychology tells us that we have experiences that generally fall into one of three categories:

1. Neutral

2. Positive (Pleasure)

3. Negative (Pain)

The neutral ones are okay i.e the mind is okay with them.

The positive and negative ones, however. They are the real troublemakers. As we grow up, We store the positive experiences (clinging) because we want to experience them again. And, We store the negative ones too (resistance) because we want to avoid them at all costs.

If, when you were growing up, you had a beautiful white cat and she was your only friend. Your mommy and daddy didn’t let you go outside and play. The cat was your only mate. When you grow up to be 50 years of age. You become a cat-lover.

However, If you had the same white cat but one time she bit you really hard. You lost some blood and had to spend some time in the hospital. You grow up to be more of a dog person.

Same cat, Different experiences Hence,

“Man is a sum of learned experiences” — B.F Skinner

 

Based on your past experiences, You start to define yourself as a person who likes one thing and dislikes another. You strongly desire the things/experiences you like & likewise, You are scared of the experiences that you don’t want to happen.

If you were married to Ben but then the marriage ended up in a horrible divorce. 30 years later, You go to a party and hear the name, Ben. Guess what? you’ll feel the same suffering you did 30 years ago. (Is it that far out? I don’t think so)

Instead of experiencing life. You work hard in order to get what you want and avoid what you don’t want.

“Through the sweat of your face, you shall eat bread” — Genesis 3:19.

Now in order to be happy. You need things to be one (& only one) fixed way.

You define yourself as the person who wants this and hates that. You build an ego. Instead of experiencing the moments of life in their fullness. You limit yourself to an ‘If-Then' model of happiness.

For example,

If my significant other wishes me on my birthday exactly at 11:59 pm, then and only then I can know that he loves me.

I can only fall in love with a person whose height is 6’4", not 6' 1" cause that’s really short neither 6’6" cause that’s really tall. He must make 81,934$/year more or less. He must wake up everyday to make me my breakfast. He must never leave the toilet seat up. and the list goes on (Far out?)

It’s amazing how this model of ego defines all of human relationships. Most People get married based on their own desires (I know they don’t accept this). They do love the other person for sure, but only till he/she fulfills the list.

This is why there’s a honeymoon phase and after that most relationships (52%) fall apart.

This happens not only with relationships but with everything that you define to be a certain thing (your body, finances, career, etc.)

Back to what Buddha said,

If you are living from that model you just built. All of life really is suffering.

It’s suffering because you have desires or preferences. Buddha wasn’t wrong at all. Not only do you have to ask life to follow the model you just built. You go to war with it. You work hard to do things to be a certain way. Even if you get things to perfectly line up the way you want them. You gotta remember something, Impermanence. Things never stay in the same place for all of the time, not even a single atom in creation

Is this all human beings are destined for? Thankfully, NO

That’s where the 3rd Noble Truth comes in.

“To end suffering, end desire”

This challenge is only for the most daring ones. What would life be like if you had no preferences?

In other words, What if you didn’t live on the model based on your past? What if you didn’t let your past determine your future?

The short answer (for the sake of this article’s length) is that life would be beyond beautiful.

Here the paradox lies,

If you give up the conditions you have in order for you to be happy. You feel a river of it inside of you.

That’s what Buddha wants you to feel. He doesn’t want you to limit your happiness to fleeting moments. He wants you to experience it all the time without any exception.

When you get into a relationship, why does the love have to die out after a few years? Why can’t you be madly in love all of your life? (you can!)

Why can’t you be in love with life?

Experience every moment just like a kiss. All of the creation brings you to that moment and vice versa. It’s a beautiful kiss between you and the dance of creation. Every. Single. Moment.

That’s a standard I aim to live at.

Excited, ecstatic, and filled with unconditional love for every single moment. Even the ones we label as bad.

They are all a part of your experience of life. So what?

The only person your happiness depends upon is YOU. Period.

That’s the real human potential.

How do you embody that happiness? That’s a topic for another blog.

Short answer? Let go of your conditions.