Gratitude Offers the Best Lifestyle

Today, let us view Zeeniya’s mindset. Who is Zeeniya? A 19 year old girl diagnosed with anxiety, periodically having panic attacks, along with a very dangerous binge-eating disorder. This month marks a year of her suffering, and today, she finally left for university to resume her higher education, which she had left. As she comes home after her first day, she cannot but grin cheerfully out of her heartfelt happiness to be able to study again. She can recount so many blessings that this day contained for her, and momentarily forgets that her mental illnesses still remain with her. The only thing she knows is that she wants to be “happy” again. Her hope has been rekindled, and she wants to live in the bliss of this present moment. 

However, what does she get to hear at home? Ibrahim protests, “But I want to have Roll Paratha Mama, and not a burger for lunch. I don’t like it!” She starts observing them and pays greetings to her family. His dad frowns when he tells her Mom about his day. Then he says, “went fine, I mean.. these clients cancelled their deal with my company. I have got two more business deals today.. But we needed the first one more God.” Then she is appalled. “But Dad, what about the two great doors of opportunity that opened for you today? that is the brighter side of your day,” she corrects. Chintoo comes dashing in, and drops the plate in a frenzy. Mother scolds him for his carelessness and Zeeniya just feels that the situation has become too stressful for her to bear, so she goes back to her room. She wonders why this episode of illness has made her so unalike her family. I ask you now: who has been in pain all along: Zeeniya or her family members? Why then is she still being grateful?

Dear readers, Gratitude is a mindset rooted in positivity, hope, and keeping good expectation from Allah. Zeeniya realizes that sometimes to know the value of our blessings, we need to have our cup emptied. This illness emptied her cup for the upcoming blessings. Now the way she can enjoy her blessings, others cannot.

How many of us are able to recall our day, and give thanks to Allah? For instance, for the time spent basking in the sun, gliding through the cool breeze in apricity, along with a cup of  tea. For having our work done in time, and being able to give our best. God who nourishes us every day with delicious food, certainly loves us. The opportunity to meet various people at the workplace every day: a smile, salam, a healthy four minute conversation with them and how it contributes to our mental wellbeing? Gratitude makes difficult times easy, and easy times perfect. You may have lived a life of great difficulty, but a grateful mindset can make you the richest person on earth. The treasure lies inside: it is the mindset itself.  

Zeeniya had a striking panic attack yesterday, a dreadful one. Who could think she would be laughing with her fellows in the university today. Surprising, isn't it? Muniba Mazari (Pakistani Motivational Speaker) wise words could better explain this as, “Laughter is not the absence of pain or grief, but the presence of contentment and gratitude in our hearts.”

Gratitude is therapeutic. Especially in those times of our lives when we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders, our whole world is crumbling down, we are shattered, or even fully consumed by the amount of pain. It gives us hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was Zeeniya’s therapist who would tell her to make a gratitude list as part of her therapy: an activity to write down what makes her happy every day. She developed that mindset in the toughest days of her life, and carried it forward to the beginning of a better future. Not recovered yet, she still finds it an incredible favour of Allah to be able to focus on her studies again. She remembers very well how in the preceding year; her mental health forced her to leave the semester in the middle. Nevertheless, should not you and I as readers of Zeeniya's story, question ourselves about why it is that the vulnerable people are often more grateful to Allah than us? Why do blessings stop looking like blessings to us when life is going fine? This reminds me of Dr. Malik Badri (the Father of Modern Islamic Psychology) who in an interview talks about his poor country Sudan, and what he sees in it as he goes to pray in a Mosque. He says: "A man is wearing a garment which already has patches here and there on it, and in his pocket is only enough money to buy a piece of bread and a cup of tea, yet he sits with another peer friend and they begin to talk, and they laugh. They laugh and tears come down their cheeks (out of joy)" How is it that they do not need a Mercedes Benz, a mansion, Hassan Sheheryar Yasin or Maria B’s clothes, with Gucci handbags or footwear, and Huda Beauty Makeup to be as happy as us? It’s simple: gratitude. 

Did you know that gratitude can also direct us to our personal success? Gratitude enhances neurotransmitters in our mind that cause happiness. This happiness will then link to our success. Let me show you how it works. Imagine that the Institute announces examinations. Students start to prepare for exams a day before. They have 6 chapters to cover. Each chapter that they learn now, they should end it by offering thanks to Allah who has made their task easier than before. Even after attempting their paper, they should be satisfied with the 75% of exams that went better than those 'two questions, and 3 MCQs' that did not. It is as this arousing happiness is what will give them the strength to accept their partial failure. In gently dealing with themselves, they can now focus on the lost marks, do their corrections, and improve their mistakes. Thus, higher chances of comeback later. Allah beautifully reminds us in the Qur'an;

“If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more." (14:7)

Mankind, at large, is ungrateful today. Why not be that one in a hundred person who looks at life with this unique lens of gratitude: what he has rather than what he does not. As we all are short of many things in our life. But if we start considering the little joys of life every day, we will benefit our own selves. Allah says, 

 "Whoever is grateful benefits his own soul" (31:12) 

 Isn't it? Let us be like Zeeniya too.