Eye-Contact in Children

Making eye contact as a baby is important for development mostly because they can’t see that far, and they need facial expressions to understand new things, and relationships. A child who doesn’t make eye contact could be avoiding social skills for numerous reasons. At times, kids are shy. They can hide their faces, or try not to look at a person who is speaking to them. But as they grow older, parents find that the importance of eye contact in young children is important, and they need to teach it as a social skill.

We also know that lack of eye contact, or a lack of interest in eye contact is a sign of Autism. Keep note that a child not making eye contact is not the only indicator of Autism! However, it is telling that social skills are important in a child’s development.

Here are a few ways to teach eye contact as a social skill in young children

1.  Find out why your child doesn’t make eye contact

A child who doesn’t make eye contact could be avoiding social skills for multiple reasons. Is it because they are culturally conditioned to not make eye contact, as a sign of respect to elders? Or is it because they are bothered by something?

2.  Teach eye contact in combination with social skills

Many children don’t always learn to make eye contact. Eye contact is also a very important non-verbal communication language. “Children should be pushed to use eye contact at the same time they are learning their please and thank-you.” Parents should work on the skill of eye contact with their children in a daily way.

·         Parents should look their children in the face when conversing with them. When kids learn to look in the eyes of someone they are trying to communicate with, they should be given positive reinforcement. For example, “thank you for looking at me, that’s great! Or  Give them their reinforcer”

·         If the child is asking for something, the parent or caregiver should do it while looking them in the eye.

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3.  Eye-contact games

Remember, kids are born to play

Play circle games that encourage eye-contact. For example, paste an emotion on a sticky note, and place it on their forehead. They partner up and guess what the emotion is. The position of the sticky note forces the children to make eye contact.

Mirroring games where player A has to copy the facial expression and hand gestures of player B, and vice versa. This also helps the child learn how to focus on a person’s face when interacting with them.

4.  During Meals

Feeding is a great way to practice eye contact, once your baby’s eye muscles and depth perception have developed. With babies at least 5- 8 months old, when you have a spoonful of food ready, get the baby's attention, and raise the spoon to the line of vision between your eyes and baby’s. Reward the meeting of the eyes with smiles and coos while you direct the spoon into the mouth. With toddlers and preschoolers, wait for your eyes to meet before sharing food or handing them their cup.

5.  During Conversations

When you want to get your child’s attention, say his/her name, and wait until he/she looks at you. If he/she does not look at you, move closer and break his/her concentration with a gentle touch. Then call his/her name again and wait for him/her to look up at you.

If your child is verbal, you can encourage eye contact during all conversations. Teach your child to look the person in the eye when he says hello, goodbye, please.

Positively reinforce their eyes meeting yours with smiles, nods, or phrases such as “I love how you look at me when I talk to you,” “Thank you for looking,” “Great looking at me!” or “What pretty brown eyes you have!” Reinforcement also occurs when you give them what they want without delay when they make eye contact with a request. With positivity, encouragement, patience, and smiles, you can teach and practice making eye contact with your child during every-day situations.