ECHOES OF SOLITUDE: FINDING MY HEALING PARTNER

Thinking about how Dostoyevsky wrote “I want to talk about everything with at least one person as I talk about things with myself?” Dostoyevsky's words ring true for anybody who has felt the suffocating weight of isolation. It reveals the hidden desire we all have to have our ideas and feelings acknowledged and respected. The core of genuine human contact might be lost in this age of constant connectivity, where notifications flood screens and digital personalities abound. The need to communicate, however, is a constant that penetrates Dostoyevsky's writing on all levels, from generation to generation to continent to continent.

Put yourself in a position where you have to decide whether to say anything or keep it to yourself during a conversation. The quote from Dostoevsky illustrates the intersection between our inner monologues and the desire to share them with another person. The act of putting one's thoughts into words is deeply therapeutic, as though giving meaning and substance to otherwise intermittent ideas. Putting our inner monologues into words that other people can understand is a lot like composing a symphony.

As I reflect on Dostoyevsky's quote, I'm reminded of my own moments of solitude. Walking through city streets, surrounded by people but feeling alone; scrolling through endless timelines, yearning for a true exchange of ideas; and gazing at starlit skies, pondering the mysteries of existence, talking to the moon, telling little birds about things that bring me heartache. Each of these instances resonates with the universal desire to share, to communicate, and to be understood.

When we talk to ourselves, we engage in a process of self-reflection, self-questioning, and self-analysis. This introspection can lead to personal growth, as it allows us to dissect our feelings, confront our fears, and gain insights into our subconscious motivations. Similarly, sharing these inner dialogues with another person can lead to a cathartic release of emotions, further reinforcing the idea that meaningful conversations act as a balm for the soul. Social media, messaging apps, and virtual platforms offer an abundance of opportunities to connect with others. However, this connectivity can sometimes be shallow, lacking the depth and authenticity that come from genuine conversations.

At the end of the day, it’s always me who will go through ‘It’ all, experiencing every feeling and thought no matter how confusing and hurting it is. And again I realized that it’s always best to prioritize myself first before anything or anyone else. When Maya Angelou said “Develop enough courage so that you can stand up for yourself and then stand up for somebody else,” this changed the whole narrative. One life is all we get. This one life where you get to pick your path, activities, and identity. Your frame of mind is entirely up to you. Your behavior. How you reacted. You are in charge of your outlook and interpretations. What you say, do, and think are all decisions you make on your own? You are in charge every day. 

And I pray you listen to your gut, make some bold decisions, and go down the road that makes you feel the most love, freedom, and pleasure. Take the plunge; it could be a great opportunity. Those dreams. Those visions. Things that cause your conscience to mutter "right" are just that. I pray that you learn to follow your intuition and let go of other people's rules and stories about how you're supposed to live. And I pray that you put your faith in your heart above all else. If there's anything you do, please respect your emotions.

And if there's one thing you hold on to no matter what, it's the knowing that courses through your veins and mingles with your bones to leave you feeling complete. I hope you'll listen to your gut if it tells you this is what you should be doing and that it's the best choice for me. Respect it. Give it a try, at the very least.

You will be someone’s best thing; but until then, be the best for yourself ❤