Infantile

The most unforgettable pain there is the absence of a mother’s love. More painful, if the mother was present choosing to be emotionally absent. A father can cause the same pain, however, a mother’s womb is a child’s first shelter. First sensation, feelings, and emotions. The pain is incomparable.

Neglected children from maternal love, suffer. The rejection etches like a second skin. It affects one’s self-worth, self-love, reality, and wellbeing. Forming unhealthy relationships, forming fear to get too close, forming doubts in their ability to conquer the world — how can they not when the rejection of the mother sends a subconscious message that "they aren’t good enough".

And even when the child has grown into an adult, the longing will still remain buried inside. Even when he/she has become successful, found a loving relationship, found awakening — found healing.

For the healing will never stop, the healing will come and go, the wound will continue to reopen, no matter how many bandages you have placed on it. It will still bleed occasionally. The trauma does not really leave the body, it preserves it as a memory. A memory of survival, a memory of awareness, a memory of becoming your own parent, a memory of lifetime pain. Permanent healing can only occur when the mother herself acknowledges her child’s pain. Nurtures the wound she afflicted on her child, with words and love.

For a child no matter how they have journeyed far from what was — they will still wish heaven exists at their mother’s feet.

Your womb was my shelter

where my heart rested with yours

your emotions, my emotions

As I breathed out of your world

abandoned, when I was just learning

how to crawl

how can you not love me

your birth, your blood

a miracle in God's eyes.