How Not To Get Catcalled

Catcalling, it is like that gum on your show you don’t want there, but it’s there. We’ve all either done it, seen it, or experienced it.

In case you do not know, (in that case where have you been please do share the location of that idyllic getaway), catcalling is usually a verbal form of street harassment that includes whistling, honking car horns, hollering, making sexual comments and vulgar gestures with the intent of getting a reaction, whether that’s fear or anger. In cases where the reaction is not what the catcaller wanted, they may amp up their antics to expose themselves, threats or even battery. (yes, that’s what it’s called when you try to grab someone)

Men are usually the catcallers, and women are on the receiving end. However, men also do this to other genders including other men. In some instances, women are also the catcallers. So, what is this phenomenon that has gone from ‘traditional male behavior’ to women, and so forth?

For that we need to understand why stalking happens. According to a research, men who engage in such behavior display ‘higher levels of hostile sexism, self-ascribed masculinity, social dominance orientation, and tolerance of sexual harassment’. So, what’s the correlation? We already know how such behavior can escalate to crimes such as battery, assault and sexual violence. So how do we stop this here at ‘harmless flirting’.

With understanding of why catcalling happens, can we avoid being catcalled? We can surely give it a try.

Stroke Male Egos

According to William Castello, a professor at St. John’s University, low self-esteem is to blame for catcalling.

“There is a competition to be boldest, strongest, most macho, generally driven by rampant lack of self-esteem, disappointment and frustration with life in general, … It is a sign of a rough and rude upbringing, which lends itself to a competition of sorts among the groups ... kind of a ‘oneupsmanship’ of who’s worse than the rest,” Castello said.

That’s why they feel the need to resort to such behavior in order to assert their dominance. That’s also why the more vulnerable you are the easier it gets for them to target you, underage girls; this one’s for you. Now if you just submit and appease their insecurity, we wouldn’t have this problem. When’s the last time you assured a man of his masculinity? Let men feel like men so that they don’t constantly try to prove it in a negative way.

Relinquish Control

The National Organization for Women (NOW) research revealed that street harassment is about control. That’s only the case with women though. So, by giving up control you stop the catcalling, easy-peasy ladies.

“In the context of gender, harassment often ends up being a way for men to exert control over women and their bodies, …. Shouting a crude comment about a woman’s appearance suggests entitlement to her body. Groping or stalking or simply standing too close without a woman’s permission shows entitlement to her space. Expecting a woman to talk to you while or after you harass her displays entitlement to her time.”

So, when you just relinquish control by allowing men to exert dominance over your space, time and body, you make it easier for everyone. At the end of the day, they are bigger, stronger and better. Why do you have to make them prove it?

Stay Off The Streets

Catcalling is a form of street harassment. So, you can just not put yourself in that situation. Stay off the streets, stay safe. Especially when we’ve noticed in particular being an easy target like being underaged, smaller, alone, and vulnerable is what brings about the opportunity for someone to take their insecurity out on you.

Be Less Feminine

Now we all know that women are more often targeted in catcalling compared to other genders. According to studies, because the intention is not to pay compliments to women, as some old timers will have you believe, but rather the factors we already discussed above. So why do other genders get catcalled? Yes, they do get catcalled. We just never highlight the issue because it’s somewhat of a minority issue. With women being almost half the population, we can at least study why they get catcalled, but who would want to spend that money on a small minority of other groups? (Remember when we dismissed harassment in the workplace because it was just a small group of women, until everyone started speaking up, and turns out its all women)

So why do other genders get catcalled? Based on what some men have to say it’s because they are ‘lady-like’. Men out there need to man up and assert that masculinity. If you act like a girl, you surely will be treated like one. Deviating from masculine expectations is punished by society, well just traditional men really, but they do speak for all of society, am I right or am I right? Use what God gave you, the law and human rights come second.

Don’t Be a Woman

Now that we know why women get targeted, for being smaller and weaker, you can work on the above suggestions. But the best course of action would be to not be a woman. As a woman no matter how hard you try to appease a man’s dominance or masculinity, you need to understand each man is different. Being nice might work with some. Asserting your dominance might work with others.

So, the universal fix would be to just go and become a man. Go ahead and shell out that cash for surgery to transition. Ohh but being a trans-male will get you targeted because you’re not ‘man enough’. You could try and keep your mouth shut and play it cool. But when you fail to participate and take pride in hetero-cisgender ritual like casual sexism you will be targeted for being ‘girly’.

So, does that mean all this research was of no use and you can’t really avoid being catcalled? Oh well.

(This article must be taken with a heavy dose of sarcasm, otherwise you’ll miss the magic)