Grief is Genesis; Love is Finale

Love and pain are two different yet interconnected entities. Despite being different in their connotations, both are incomplete without each other. Where love can relieve pain, it can cause pain as well. From birth to death, life is a continuous struggle between loss, pain and love. The tradition of going through pain to get love has been here since the birth of the first human being. Grief and love come hand in hand. We cannot have one without another. Grief is genesis; love is finale. Even if it is not romantic or platonic love, familial love, affectionate love or Divine love even, comes stacked with pain and loss. Every good thing has a price. Love comes with demands, punishments, loss and grief.

 “Paradise is surrounded by hardships and the fire is surrounded by desires.” ~Prophet Mohammad (P.b.u.h.)

This inevitable and intricate relationship between the two has been there since the very beginning. In fact, it is the foundation of humanity. One has to rip himself of all desires and claims to conquer the realms of love. Grief is the door that opens into the heavenly dominions of love. Even people before us had lost a lot in order to attain divine love. Adam and Eve’s love for their desire resulted in getting them out of paradise. The legacy continued and passed on. We see the association of love with grief in the stories of Prophets. Prophet Abraham readily accepted to slaughter his own son to gain God’s closeness. Prophet Jacob accepted God’s will and lost his dearest son Joseph. He cried for years, lost his sight but then God returned Joseph to him. Joseph himself had to go through many detriments to get God’s love. Zuleikha’s love for Joseph was also an embodiment of “Loss, Love and Pain.” Prophet Job was stripped of his wealth yet he loved God and became one of God’s favorite humans. Prophets had to go through years of suffering just to be loved by God.

“I have seen my lord with the eye of my heart, and I said, “Who are you?” he said, “You”. ~Mansoor

Mansoor al-Hajjaj reached the pinnacle of spiritual closeness with God. He became so in love with God that his mind got clouded by blasphemous thoughts. In order to attain the zenith of spiritual love, he faced the pain of execution. 

No one could escape it. Those who fail to submit, never get love. Even Satan himself succumbed to his ego and lost God’s love. These desires rip people off submission and devotion. That’s how the path to sovereign grace gets lost.

“Crush the desire for Layla in your heart,” but I implore Thee, Oh my Lord, let it grow even stronger. Take what is left of me and add it to Layla’s. Let me never demand from her as much as a single hair, even if my pain reduces me to the width of one” ~Qays

Just like Divine love, romantic love also comes with pain and torment. Sometimes even after losing everything, lovers don’t unite in this world but in another universe. From ages, suffering has been a part of unfinished love stories. Incomplete love stories become folklores. When Qays fell in love with Layla, the world went against him. While Layla surrendered to the demands of traditions, he wandered in the wilderness. It was because of Layla Majnu’s grief, that even today; people know about him and look at them as torch bearers of platonic love. To unite above skies, they had to face imponderable grief and cruelties of love.

“Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake-it’s everything except what it is.” ~William Shakespeare

Death has been the ultimate fate of lovers. It became a source of the union of Romeo and Juliet. Indeed lovers are destined to die. Their love would always face a tinge of grief and loss. Romeo and Juliet had to benefit from death to unite in the hereafter.

“You may blame Aphrodite for she almost killed me with love for that boy.” ~Sappho

The voyage of Psyche that included spine-chilling and unmanageable tasks made her unite with Eros whose countenance she never saw.  After enduring terrible mental and physical pain, the mortal psyche made it to immortal Eros and lived happily ever after.

If you want love, you would have to go through the pain. In most cases, confronting the grief aspect of love results in a happy life. On the other hand, for some people grief is permanent and only death rids them of their anguish and distress. The life of this world burdens and drains everyone but in the end, the sky clears away; the sun shines again; the grief fades away and life goes on.